3/23/2023 - screaming crying throwing up passing out

 Hey,

Okay so as I've mentioned, I had to cut my dad and stepmom off entirely because of #abuse. However, I miss them. I shouldn't. They are terrible people. But I wanted to share some memories I have with them. I want to try and be as vague as possible because I don't want them to find this lol.

Code names:

E.S.M - evil stepmother

F - my father

S.S - my older sister (step-sister technically)

L.B - my little brother

O.B - my older brother

Here it goes:

• So S.S and I used to share a room and one time we were trying to fall asleep and E.S.M came into our room (during the summer) and told us to come outside because there was a meteor passing by
• we used to have a ton of bonfires during the summer and S.S would invite her friends to them. during one of them, she dared one of her friends to jump over the bonfire and he did. It was so cool
• There were a lot of bats that would fly around during the bonfires. I used to have a bat stuffed animal and I've loved bats ever since. I've never told anyone about that though. I say my favorite animal is a turtle, and it kind of is but it's actually a bat.
• S.S and I used to have a 'tv show' that we would record every day
• playing laser tag
• when S.S would do my makeup (even though I'm a trans boy it was time I got to spend with her so I didn't really mind)
• When S.S and I would watch a series together
• Watching a series/movie with everyone but L.B (he had to go to bed lol)
• Whenever E.S.M would make homemade foods and ask us to help/lick the spoon
• Playing Minecraft with S.S and L.B and sometimes F
• going to a big place a couple of towns away to watch the fireworks on the fourth of July
• family dinners
• playing frisbee with L.B and S.S
• going on vacation
• swimming
• when S.S and I didn't share a room anymore she would randomly come into my room to make TikTok. At the time I found it annoying but I see now that it was her way of showing love.
• helping S.S pick out an outfit
• playing board games with everyone
• making snow tunnels and sledding in the winter

These people were in my life for 95% of it. E.S.M and F ruined my life. They ruined me as a person. I can't trust anyone because of them but they shaped who I am now. They made me the man I am today. Mostly cause of what they did to me, but also the good parts. I miss S.S more and more every day and I don't know if I'll ever see her again but she holds a very special and very prominent place in my heart and I love her more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life.

I hope one day I can see her and hopefully even L.B again to tell them that it's not their fault that I never came home and I love them. 

If you're seeing this, I miss you and I love you so much.