9/19/2023 - i love you like an alcoholic

 i said a couple posts ago that i finally have freedom after being freed from my abusive and controlling parents. but i feel like i should get into that more because i dont think anyone really understands the whole kit and caboodle of the situation.

For seventeen years my life was entirely controlled by E.S.M. She brainwashed and manipulated me in the years where I was learning how to live. Because of that, her control is hardwired into my brain. It will take me years to figure out how to undo her control. I've been conditioned to think that she is the best person possible and because of that I miss her. Even though I know that she isn't a good person. She took my childhood from me. I have only had the past two years to have my life. Everyone asks why I just do and say anything I want. Because I was never able to. I owe it to my younger self to live my life the way that I want. I can finally say, do, eat, wear, and feel whatever I want. 

And that is the most liberating I have ever felt.